Dec 31

California 2011: December 31 Update

“And Alderaan’s not far away, it’s Californication”
—The Red Hot Chili Peppers

“We must be absolutely modern”
—Rimbaud

***
ONE

To those who grew up Post Modern
if not entirely absurd
To those who found God
in a desert, wave, or quarter pipe

To the Tiki dreams of Polynesian Demons
fixed within a Sunset Blvd bar
To the rocket-adorned roofs of Googie diners
Timeless in the California night

To those who believe
in the act of believing
To the modern pilgrims
Settling the suburban wilds

Where the freeways run like rivers
Deeper than the Mississippi
And the Summer stretches outward
into Winter, Fall, and Spring

To all of you—the actual and living inhabitants
of the California Myth
(the seductive, sickly, tanned cousin
of Apple Pie American Dream)
I write for all of you—all of us—
We are all, somehow, both real and unreal, living and abstract, here in this land;
we are the sinew, bone, and muscle of all of America’s dreaming.

***
TWO

Blazing cities of sprawl and concrete
banish the vast wilderness with vastness greater still
Cities materialize within a moment—an instant—
as if time and space were merely questions of will…

From Hollywood to Silicone Valley
an Empire Intangible—of dreams
conquered raw soil as sure as imagination
with ones and zeroes and silver screens…

And also, the dimming echo of a forgotten empire:
the holy Spanish Missions—beatific—
God’s own anchors on the edge of the continent
the final posts of civilization against the throbbing Pacific…

***
THREE

America built this place
as a desert Fort Knox for her dreams,
we were all of us tasked to build
stories of her past and of her future…

But while the cargo ships, plump from ports in Asia,
slump into the ports at San Pedro and Long Beach;

While the fresh young faces, streaming deep from mid-America
flood Los Angeles like a human tide of beauty;

While the other fresh young faces, running deep from South America
ford North on the back of their own American Dream…

and while the night swelters on a Summer’s evening,
in a dusk-lit Mission, America is here—now, and California.

***
FOUR

San Francisco
Los Angeles
San Diego

These are, after all, the names of saints and angels
(See! Even the names are unreal!)
Every city is a spoken prayer…

San Francisco—the humming walls and the blood on the pillow and Ginsberg trying to suck off kid from Idaho…
Los Angeles—Hollywood and Malibu and Inglewood and Compton merely miles apart…
San Diego—the tip of America itself, and the sharp point of its navy…

I see these things and ask myself, “isn’t this obvious? doesn’t everyone know?
am I just too naive for having even been surprised?”

Dec 31

Goodbye, Zachary John

The ancient plow rusts in the field and
though it is gorgeous in the sunset, still
your dad complains to you how he
has to sell grandpa’s ‘58 Chevy truck
because after all it just won’t start these days.

Goodbye…

The days are shorter, finally, and
you will be leaving this city
or I will, or we’ll just stay
right here, careful…
Our paths need not cross again;
all it takes is but a little care
and the scab won’t hurt
if you don’t disturb the skin.

Goodbye…

I knew, you see, I found you out
your secret pastures of ancient iron
the solemn ruins—the house, the barn—
of all your childhood dreams.
I saw the stream where you,
naked and quivering, first felt your body
alone and cold and all yours, baptised in solitude
and I imagined every night in your bedroom
with you—finally—trying to figure some of it out.
Did you ever make sense of it?
Or of God, for that matter?

Goodbye…

I have that small picture, its negative, and
the way you look when you’re concentrating,
your lips full, slightly agape—innocent enough, at least,
to still take in wonder and slow time; innocent or
at least young enough. Oh!—did you
brush up against me again? No, that’s just
a memory…

Goodbye, Zachary John.

Dec 31

Guess I've Been A Naughty Poet…

…I wanted to post something new, from me or others, at least once a week. Then, mere days after I setup this website as a “poetry-only” site, I got a (contract) job…

I guess there’s always the excuse that it’s New Year’s Eve—but even that’s thin, as I managed a model shoot today.

And, what’s more, I’ve had all sorts of “everything-and-nothing” observations about life, the universe, etc. lately. In other words, exactly the sort of things I used to post on my old blog…

So I don’t know, dear reader*. I’m still committed to poetry. I did skip this December’s reading because… well I had a bad experience reading in November, so I had a bad taste in my mouth still, so when an excuse came to blow it off I took it… I don’t like obnoxious drunk people talking through a reading, which didn’t happen just to me but to half the poets at the last reading.

But back on the horse next month, I guess. I have a bunch of poems, published here even, that I haven’t read there. Hell, I could be a real daredevil and publish the one poem I’m too “embarrassed” or “worried” to publish because it involves someone I used to know personally (and who is still connected to me through social media, tenuously). Yeah, I think I’ll do that…

*oh who am I kidding, no one reads this stuff…

Dec 23

My Favorite Shakespeare Sonnet, #30

When to the sessions of sweet silent thought
I summon up remembrance of things past,
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,
And with old woes new wail my dear time’s waste:
Then I can drown an eye (unused to flow)
For precious friends hid in death’s dateless night,
And weep afresh love’s long since canceled woe,
And moan th’expense of many a vanished sight:
Then I can grieve at grievances foregone,
And heavily from woe to woe tell o’er
The sad account of fore-bemoaned moan,
Which I new pay as if not paid before.
  But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
  All losses are restored and sorrows end.

Dec 16

Battle For The Author's Soul

Last night the Beatles and the Beach Boys battled
for my eternal soul—I was sped away
in a little duce coupe, but then
a giant walrus in the road took me back
to the USSR until, finally,
David Lee Roth appeared with his
California Girls
and that was that. The chords of music
were strewn about my little bitty room like corpses,
beats and rhythms looked up at bedside nurses
with pleading eyes. And, in the midst of it all,
a gentleman in coattails with slick black hair
walked up, shook my hand, and said,
“Pleased to meet you,
Hope you’ve guessed my name…”

Dec 09

I'm So Down With W. H. Auden

When I was in college, I bought and read the entire collected works of W. H. Auden. I thought he was awesome, on many levels. It’s hard to describe—he’s not quite Modernist, but he’s most certainly not Post-Modern—Auden has a poetic voice that is both cold and clinical and yet somehow warmly human. I guess he appeals to the part of me that believes a technical writer and a poet can inhabit the same body and mind.

One of my favorite poems of Auden’s is “In Praise of Limestone.” I’m not going to include the whole poem here because I believe it’s still in copyright, but in the interest of whetting your appetite:

That is why, I suppose,
The best and worst never stayed here long but sought
Immoderate soils where the beauty was not so external,
The light less public and the meaning of life
Something more than a mad camp. `Come!’ cried the granite wastes,
`How evasive is your humour, how accidental
Your kindest kiss, how permanent is death.’ (Saints-to-be
Slipped away sighing.) `Come!’ purred the clays and gravels,
`On our plains there is room for armies to drill; rivers
Wait to be tamed and slaves to construct you a tomb
In the grand manner: soft as the earth is mankind and both
Need to be altered.’ (Intendant Caesars rose and
Left, slamming the door.) But the really reckless were fetched
By an older colder voice, the oceanic whisper:
`I am the solitude that asks and promises nothing;
That is how I shall set you free. There is no love;
There are only the various envies, all of them sad.’

They were right, my dear, all those voices were right
And still are; this land is not the sweet home that it looks,
Nor its peace the historical calm of a site
Where something was settled once and for all: A back ward
And dilapidated province, connected
To the big busy world by a tunnel, with a certain
Seedy appeal, is that all it is now? Not quite:
It has a worldy duty which in spite of itself
It does not neglect, but calls into question
All the Great Powers assume; it disturbs our rights…

Dec 02

Early Draft: California 2011

I don’t pretend that this is a finished poem. If anything, there are whole sections that need to be written; the whole enterprise is barely coherent. Hell, the first part is obviously not where the poem actually starts. It’s too big for a single week’s post; I guess you can look for later editions of this poem in future posts, much like how the Maury show teases you with Baby-Daddy test results. More than anything, I’m just trying to set the record straight about California, what it actually is. But anyway, if you’re at all interested in what I’ve been thinking about these days, here you go…

“And Alderaan’s not far away, it’s Californication”
—The Red Hot Chili Peppers

“We must be absolutely modern”
—Rimbaud

***
ONE

To those who grew up Post Modern
if not entirely absurd
To those who found God
in a desert, wave, or quarter pipe

To the Tiki dreams of Polynesian Demons
fixed within a Sunset Blvd bar
To the rocket-adorned roofs of Googie diners
Timeless in the California night

To those who believe
in the act of believing
To the modern pilgrims
Settling the suburban wilds

Where the freeways run like rivers
Deeper than the Mississippi
And the Summer stretches outward
into Winter, Fall, and Spring

***
TWO

Blazing cities of sprawl and concrete
banish the vast wilderness with vastness greater still
Cities materialize within a moment—an instant—
as if time and space were merely questions of will…

From Hollywood to Silicone Valley
an Empire Intangible—of dreams
conquered raw soil as sure as imagination
with ones and zeroes and silver screens…

And also, the dimming echo of a forgotten empire:
the holy Spanish Missions—beatific—
God’s own anchors on the edge of the continent
the final posts of civilization against the throbbing Pacific…

***
THREE

America built this place
as a desert Fort Knox for her dreams,
we were all of us tasked to build
stories of her past and of her future…

But while the cargo ships, plump from ports in Asia,
slump into the ports at San Pedro and Long Beach;

While the fresh young faces, streaming deep from mid-America
flood Los Angeles like a human tide of beauty;

While the other fresh young faces, running deep from South America
ford North on the back of their own American Dream…

and while the night swelters on a Summer’s evening,
in a dusk-lit Mission, America is here—now, and California.