You know what Twitter is like?

You know what my Twitter is like, for me?

There’s this guy I know; he’s really, really hot, and he lives clear across the other side of San Diego county. Jesus Dancing on Mary with Joseph he’s fucking hot.

He kind of doesn’t put out. He wants to, but his schedule is… creative. Always about to re-enroll in junior college, for example. Every time I go to see him, there’s a 50/50 chance we’ll run errands instead of touching each others’ penises. I see him about twice a year, and about twice a year I re-remember it’s all not worth it.

…and that’s exactly what my Twitter is like for me.

That is all.

Bassists

I’m beginning to realize that I… uh… kinda have a thing for, um… bassists.
(Fun fact: my husband plays cello and bass.)

That is all.

OK, Fucking LOL, Though

Deafheaven Bassist Falls Asleep During Performance

Some might think this would be cause for teasing, but critics are already raving that Clark slept through Deafheaven’s ambient shoegaze black-metal bullshit perfectly.
“It was a flawless performance. Just absolutely flawless. These guys are creating a new genre,” one critic wrote on his Pitchfork worship blog.

The Hard Times reached out to the Deafheaven vocalist for comment but his response was too low in the mix for us to understand.