I made it into the upcoming anthology for the San Diego Poetry Annual, 2015-16. Yay! That frees up two poems tied up in submission; one I just published, the other I’m not sure what to do with…

I skip through the passing sorrows of each day like flipbook frames; little losses:

I leave in the morning when the dawn has just happened; the silence from our

last night ends; the bird on the path is there because it’s dying. It dies in front of

us—color and maybe blood and a broken line, maybe the wing broken, the

abstraction of air and flight made once again animal, mortal.

There’s no such thing as a passing sorrow, though; they muck up, trap together,

clot. Each one imprints a trace upon a greater whole, carves a bit of a groove

out again from my ordered thoughts. Sorrow is sorrow because it cannot fix

itself into my world, into something I can make sense of: How should a bird die?

How should a love end?

Maybe I’d like a fine sorrow, a worthy sorrow, a sorrow with a trust fund, legacy

educated in conspicuously privileged, prestigious institutions. Or maybe, I’d

want a rough sorrow, one who forces my grip tight just before he guns the

chopper and flings us down the freeway, one who can down whiskey straight all

night and still keep his dick up. Maybe my sorrow will come to me in tie-dyed

cottons smelling of patchouli and offering a joint; we can sit and commune with

my grief at the midnight drum circle, as the waves of the Pacific sigh their

asynchronous laments.

Of course, when I’m a bit older, I’ll want a sorrow who can offer something

more substantial. Maybe he’ll drive a near-luxury sedan between his banking

job and downtown walk-up; he texts me each disappointment from his LTE-

connected tablet, and live-streams all my pain in rich full-spectrum 4K video.

Maybe, next though, I’d want a down-to-Earth sorrow, with a hybrid or a mini-

SUV, a bit hipster, who insists that we document my tears on film because the

glisten and the shiver only come through on Kodachrome.

Really, though, I’ll end up with the boy-next-door-all-grown sorrow, with a

sensible engineering job, who still plays Dungeons and Dragons on weekends,

still practices his bass guitar in the garage; he’ll write the most beautiful song on

his lunch breaks, singing out every word I’ve ever regretted not saying; he

named his World of Warcraft guild “Brian’s Winter” in my honor, and they

reenact doomed battles on their server every Friday night.

You, love, of course are the worst of them all, the one sorrow I couldn’t live

with, couldn’t even curl up and cum with during an afternoon’s stand; I couldn’t

even get your dick pic off Grindr. And yet with this new message you’ve just

texted me on Facebook, I maybe just now realize…

…I can be someone’s sorrow, too, some burly poet house husband, who every

weekend fires up the grill and serves, on uranium-glazed Fiesta dinnerware, the

most exquisite emptiness—rarer than pure white jade from China—found only

in the suburban valleys of Southern California.

Uff. I have a poem. It’s quite an albatross.

I took it to workshop today; the workshop was great, but made plain that the poem is almost finished—there’s not much left to refine or take away.

Some of my friends at Upender like it, but I kind of want to try for somewhere else this time.

It’s about California.

Yup, I’ve been published at Upender again, this time as flash fiction: Socialmorphosis.

Gonna be on Upender again, this time with some flash fiction. Details Wednesday. :)

So “Keep On Rockin'” got published at Upender today! They put my reading up on their SoundCloud, too. I wasn’t sure if I was going to submit to Upender again so soon—they just published Kyle 1979 a few weeks ago, after all; they’re already familiar with my work, though, and being online-only gives them the flexibility to publish things quickly. And this poem is about as current-events as I get. The “chorus” of my poem is:

To be American means
You survive in spite of America


I’ll put up the details once it’s actually published; plus, I have to record a “reading” for SoundCloud now 😉

December 2015
« Oct